In life, there are two major events that are sure to change the course of a person’s life: marriage and children. Nigerian actor John Okafor aka Mr. Ibu has been married three times and has a number of children. That means that the course of his life has been changed a number of times and there are lessons he has learned from it all.
Can you imagine not one but two different spouses walking out on you for the same reason? Wow, that must be rough. But that is what happened to Mr. Ibu. In an interview with Punch, Mr. Ibu opened up about how his first two wives walking out of his marriage as well as fatherhood has affected him. Here’s what Mr. Ibu said.
Speaking honestly about his initial irresponsibility as a father/family-man and why his two wives left him, Mr. Ibu said:
When you are young and single it is a big difference from being a married man, and a bigger difference when you start to have children. When you have babies, you are becoming a man, and when you are becoming a man, you are thinking big. There were certain things I wouldn’t do that I do now, because I am the head of my family and family comes first. Also, my children look up to me, learn from me and emulate me. I have to show them that I am responsible, so that they can be proud of who I am. God says you should nurture them, provide for them and that is what I do. Fatherhood makes you a responsible person. We have fathers who are responsible and there are others who are irresponsible and careless.
When I started my journey into fatherhood, I was a careless father, but by God’s grace I was able to retrace my steps, build up myself and today I am proudly a responsible father. If you are a careless father, who doesn’t care for his children, who doesn’t have love for his and family, who doesn’t have love and passion for building a home, such a person is not a man. I have been able to live up to my responsibilities as a father by providing for my family and making sure they never lack.
You have to build confidence in yourself. You learn everyday as a father, and I never miss any opportunity to learn everyday and this makes me a better parent. I have people who learn from me and I teach them how to build a home even though I had some ups and downs in the course of trying to build a home. My first and second marriages failed; they (my wives) left me after having a child each for me. I wondered what made them make such decisions and they made me know that it was because I didn’t have money. This made me know that I have to be able to keep my family and provide for them and make sure that they are satisfied and not have any reason to look down on me.
It is very rare to see celebrities open up and take responsibility for their own shortcomings. For Mr. Ibu to admit that he in fact wasn’t always a responsible father or family man and now is trying to become responsible and provide for his family as well as keep them satisfied, is a very commendable thing.
The big lesson I learnt from what he said and the lesson Mr. Ibu too has learnt is that maintaining a family is very hard work. It’s something one has to be ready for. To keep them, provide for them, make sure they’re satisfied, and give them no reason to look down on you is hard so one has to be very prepared to do all that before they make the decision to become fathers. Very important lesson. It’s good to see Mr. Ibu happy and thriving in his current marriage. What do you think about what he said? Let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment on my Jide Okonjo Facebook post.